Liberal

For years I have appeared dazed and confused when it comes to politics. For me it compares to Dimension-X. You never want to go there because it’s where evil Krang is found. Well, when I think of Krang, I see him in this tall walking machine that looks like Uncle Sam and he continually beats me over the head with a club that says “politics” on the end of it. You see… I come from a large family, and that’s grounds for a large family gathering. Lucky for me (not really), many of them have much to say about political issues. Every heated discussion I just listen and try to nod as though I might have something to say or relate to. What I am actually thinking is, “…damn, if only I read that subscription of TIME last week” or “ahhhhh! I knew I should have read those msn.com news highlights after I signed out of my hotmail account the other day!”
Of course in all of this confusion I still couldn’t tell you what political party does what or thinks that. I couldn’t tell you what leaders there are or where they came from, heck, I couldn’t even spell their name if I had to…judge Lance Ito, Alito whatever the heck that is! In all that frustration I wouldn’t place myself in any political view. I guess if there was a political view called LOST. I would hold that one. It’s how I feel, and it seems to be a decent TV show. I think I will stick to that.
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This morning I realized that LOST wasn’t very productive as a political view. Now I can proudly say that after a long and grueling research process I have committed to an actual political view, a view that is recognized by many. I was in the shower washing my hair and after I rinsed, I decided to read the directions for washing hair. It read “Apply a LIBERAL amount and massage into the scalp.” I DO that! Yeah, I do apply liberally! I am LIBERAL!!!