Wisdom Teeth

How ‘bout those wisdom teeth? I tell you what, I got about 4 of them, and they are nothing but a pain in the you know what. As a small risk taking child that I once was, I had an experience to remember which gave me unusual spaces between teeth. It was this experience that allowed for those pesky wisdom teeth to fit. At six years young, I had the pleasure of getting six of my teeth removed in one trip by my dentist.

This takes place back when I used to live in the crime free Los Angeles. It was a perfect little neighborhood near Crenshaw (insert sarcastic laugh here) and I learned how to ride a skateboard using one knee for support, and the other foot as a push off the ground to gain speed. Being the smart little tike that I was, I made sure to stay on the sidewalk. If you are familiar with any other place outside of the state of Washington, you know what a sidewalk is. For some reason it took Washington a decade or so to figure out what they were and how to use them. Anyways, the combination of California earthquakes and tree roots caused the large panels of concrete to fit together about as level as the San Andreas Fault line.

Try to picture me gaining more speed with every push of the foot. Visualize the type of speed that would show me the meaning of Newtons first law (Every object in a state of uniform motion tends to remain in that state of motion unless an external force is applied to it). Imagine me racing from panel to panel, and then making a sudden ……..STOP!

The front wheels came to a halt when contacting the separation in the sidewalk. I went face forward, and for a small second, I knew what it meant to kiss the ground. After that, all I remember was the long walk home as a bloody and teary mess. No toy, food, or person in the world could have cheered me up. However, later that day I realized that the tooth fairy was probably going to make a longer than normal visit.

It is to this day that I still have small spaces in certain parts of my mouth. I never had an issue with my wisdom teeth as a young adult. Dentist always told me that I was lucky to have that extra room. I grew up thinking that I was special! I believed that I was unique because I could fit more teeth in my mouth than most people…. It made sense that everyone around me had their wisdom teeth removed… they didn’t have the space! HAHA.

It turns out the joke is on me. During my college years, two of those stupid teeth got cavities! You know why? It’s because they are so freakin’ far back in my mouth they’re impossible to brush! The dentist gave me this water pick thingy to clean them with. In my head I thought, “Yeah right you idiot, like I’m going to use that. I barely floss as it is, let alone stick a plastic syringe thingy in my mouth.” At least it made for a good squirt gun though. From experience, I found that there are very few toothbrushes out there that fit and work efficiently in my oral cavity. It was about 2 years ago when it hit me!

They kept telling me that I didn’t need to get them removed, so they could reap the benefits! They left me in misery with the hope that I would obtain more cavities which would boost their yearly income! HA! They need ME! I should be the one with the big bucks! Dentists should have bidding wars over me! They should pay to have me as a patient. I guess I am unique! I could represent people all over the world!

ATTENTION!Do you have an abundance of wisdom teeth? Are they causing you more money and grief than they should? You need to call J.G. Brianworth! I will get you the money you deserve! Call now!