Endless Winter

I have always been in search of the endless summer. It seems as though I have found the endless winter, or fall. Here it is folks, the endless winter/fall... I have found it right here in Wershington. I had to add the accent. Hmm, I wonder if this is the endless winter, then maybe if I find the exact opposite position on earth, it would lead me to the endless summer! That has to be the answer. Dang it, I still don't know where that lies. Agghhhh, another day of rain... the search continues....

rain stained my brain

I think it is raining again. I find myself wondering why I still live here. I need a change. My quest continues in search of the endless summer...

surprise

Who would have guessed? Rain again! I think I will predict rain tomorrow too. I seem to have this psychic sense lately. I would like to explore it some more. I think I will try again tomorrow.

Rain

Gee, who would have guessed it. I look out the window and find more water falling from the sky. I can't imagine what that water will feel like in a few hundred years or less. Maybe acid rain will no longer have rain in it... ouch. I gotta get outta here.

Untitled

Oh look! Another exciting grey sky brought to you by:
The makers of PNW
The seasonally depressed, downhearted, gloomy, sullen, Seattlites.

Liberal

For years I have appeared dazed and confused when it comes to politics. For me it compares to Dimension-X. You never want to go there because it’s where evil Krang is found. Well, when I think of Krang, I see him in this tall walking machine that looks like Uncle Sam and he continually beats me over the head with a club that says “politics” on the end of it. You see… I come from a large family, and that’s grounds for a large family gathering. Lucky for me (not really), many of them have much to say about political issues. Every heated discussion I just listen and try to nod as though I might have something to say or relate to. What I am actually thinking is, “…damn, if only I read that subscription of TIME last week” or “ahhhhh! I knew I should have read those msn.com news highlights after I signed out of my hotmail account the other day!”
Of course in all of this confusion I still couldn’t tell you what political party does what or thinks that. I couldn’t tell you what leaders there are or where they came from, heck, I couldn’t even spell their name if I had to…judge Lance Ito, Alito whatever the heck that is! In all that frustration I wouldn’t place myself in any political view. I guess if there was a political view called LOST. I would hold that one. It’s how I feel, and it seems to be a decent TV show. I think I will stick to that.
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This morning I realized that LOST wasn’t very productive as a political view. Now I can proudly say that after a long and grueling research process I have committed to an actual political view, a view that is recognized by many. I was in the shower washing my hair and after I rinsed, I decided to read the directions for washing hair. It read “Apply a LIBERAL amount and massage into the scalp.” I DO that! Yeah, I do apply liberally! I am LIBERAL!!!

Wisdom Teeth

How ‘bout those wisdom teeth? I tell you what, I got about 4 of them, and they are nothing but a pain in the you know what. As a small risk taking child that I once was, I had an experience to remember which gave me unusual spaces between teeth. It was this experience that allowed for those pesky wisdom teeth to fit. At six years young, I had the pleasure of getting six of my teeth removed in one trip by my dentist.

This takes place back when I used to live in the crime free Los Angeles. It was a perfect little neighborhood near Crenshaw (insert sarcastic laugh here) and I learned how to ride a skateboard using one knee for support, and the other foot as a push off the ground to gain speed. Being the smart little tike that I was, I made sure to stay on the sidewalk. If you are familiar with any other place outside of the state of Washington, you know what a sidewalk is. For some reason it took Washington a decade or so to figure out what they were and how to use them. Anyways, the combination of California earthquakes and tree roots caused the large panels of concrete to fit together about as level as the San Andreas Fault line.

Try to picture me gaining more speed with every push of the foot. Visualize the type of speed that would show me the meaning of Newtons first law (Every object in a state of uniform motion tends to remain in that state of motion unless an external force is applied to it). Imagine me racing from panel to panel, and then making a sudden ……..STOP!

The front wheels came to a halt when contacting the separation in the sidewalk. I went face forward, and for a small second, I knew what it meant to kiss the ground. After that, all I remember was the long walk home as a bloody and teary mess. No toy, food, or person in the world could have cheered me up. However, later that day I realized that the tooth fairy was probably going to make a longer than normal visit.

It is to this day that I still have small spaces in certain parts of my mouth. I never had an issue with my wisdom teeth as a young adult. Dentist always told me that I was lucky to have that extra room. I grew up thinking that I was special! I believed that I was unique because I could fit more teeth in my mouth than most people…. It made sense that everyone around me had their wisdom teeth removed… they didn’t have the space! HAHA.

It turns out the joke is on me. During my college years, two of those stupid teeth got cavities! You know why? It’s because they are so freakin’ far back in my mouth they’re impossible to brush! The dentist gave me this water pick thingy to clean them with. In my head I thought, “Yeah right you idiot, like I’m going to use that. I barely floss as it is, let alone stick a plastic syringe thingy in my mouth.” At least it made for a good squirt gun though. From experience, I found that there are very few toothbrushes out there that fit and work efficiently in my oral cavity. It was about 2 years ago when it hit me!

They kept telling me that I didn’t need to get them removed, so they could reap the benefits! They left me in misery with the hope that I would obtain more cavities which would boost their yearly income! HA! They need ME! I should be the one with the big bucks! Dentists should have bidding wars over me! They should pay to have me as a patient. I guess I am unique! I could represent people all over the world!

ATTENTION!Do you have an abundance of wisdom teeth? Are they causing you more money and grief than they should? You need to call J.G. Brianworth! I will get you the money you deserve! Call now!